Read An Excerpt

Annie, Get Your Guy

• Jump to Ordering Options ↓

Annie Sawyers felt her jaw drop at the impressive pile of magazines, articles and books her friend had just carried in. She’d had no idea the topic could be so…extensive. “Good grief. Are all these on sex?”

Lace huffed as she dropped the large stack onto the floor. “Every single one.”

“But…I thought sex was…you know, pretty clear-cut and basic.”

Lace chuckled. “Variety is the spice of life. And believe me, they make fascinating reading.”

“You’ve read them all?”

“These, and dozens more.” Lace was a well-known sex therapist and Annie’s best female friend to boot. Just recently, she’d married Annie’s older brother—to the shock of the rest of the family. Not because they didn’t adore Lace, but because Daniel was such a stuffed shirt. The two of them complemented each other perfectly.

Lace straightened and gave Annie a smile. “If you’re not inspired after this, I give up.”

Annie didn’t say it, but inspiration wasn’t her problem. It was feminine confidence, and lack of male response, that had her hesitant. “I don’t know, Lace. I mean, I don’t think Guy particularly wants me sexually inspired.”

“No doubt about that! Which is why you’re going to seduce him.”

Annie’s eyes widened. “But I’ve never seduced anyone in my life. Last time I tried that with Guy, he thought I was challenging him to arm wrestle. And he let me win! Do you know how humiliating that was?”

After three blinks, Lace asked, “How in the world did he confuse—”

“Maybe I should have taken off my clothes first? Do you think it’d help if I got—”

“No! No, don’t do that.” Lace gave her a wan smile. “I’ll help you. Your seduction techniques will be unparalleled. Irresistible. Provocative. I promise, he won’t stand a chance.”

“I dunno.” Annie felt the tiniest bit queasy.

“What if I do this, take my best shot, give it all I got…”

“Annie.”

“…and he laughs at my technique and pats me on the head? That’s what he usually does, you know.” Annie frowned, hating her own hesitation on this particular subject, but still very aware of her irrefutable shortcomings. She was a wonderful businesswoman, strong, independent, capable, but she wasn’t beautiful and sexy like Lace. She wasn’t feminine.

She had no siren’s call.

For the most part, Guy thought of her as a tomboy and a little sister. She loved him beyond distraction, more so every day it seemed, while he was content to give her brotherly advice, and the occasional stern lecture on propriety. He didn’t seem to realize that her efforts at looking more appealing, more womanly, weren’t meant for the general male masses, but rather his very individualized notice. All he cared about was protecting her—the same as her two overbearing brothers. It was more than any mortal woman should have to bear, and was behind her request for help from Lace.

Lace gave her a patient look. “Annie, Guy might not even realize you’re interested. He’s been with your family for a long time, now. And with you being the only female in a household full of males, he’s naturally adopted the same attitude as your brothers and father. It could be he just needs a bit of…encouragement.”

Annie sighed. Guy was her very best friend, her confidant, and he knew her in ways her family didn’t. She’d been in love with him forever. Still, what Lace said did make a bit of sense.

“I suppose that could be it.” Guy had been living in the Sawyers household since his early high school days. He and Daniel were sophomores when Guy’s father had to take an early retirement due to health problems. Guy’s mother and father had moved to Florida, but Guy and Daniel had been friends forever, played sports together, hung out together. They were both popular, and they’d had their futures mapped out. It only made sense that Guy would want to finish school in his hometown. So he’d been welcomed into the Sawyers household.

Lace nodded. “Guy has pretty much adopted your family as his own. And now that I’m in the family, too, I see how they tend to put you on a very high, pastel-pink padded pedestal. They don’t want to think about you leaping off the damn pedestal in search of debauched entertainments.”

Lace laughed. She’d always been amused at the way Annie was pampered by the men in her family. “I imagine Guy feels no one is allowed to have sexual thoughts about you.” Then, with a prissy voice, she added, “You’re too pure.”

“But I don’t want to be pure!” To Annie, that word had almost become an insult.

“Pure is rather boring, isn’t it?” Lace agreed. “But you haven’t helped that image by turning interested men away, you know. You’ve got ‘sweet and innocent’ stamped all over you, and it’s my guess the men in your family like it just fine that way. I know Daniel does. He’s fighting the image of you as a grown, mature woman with all his might, despite my encouragement to the opposite.”

Annie’s groan was long and frustrated. If even Lace, whom Daniel adored beyond all reason, couldn’t turn Daniel around, how could she ever reach Guy?

“Of course I turned men away,” Annie muttered. “The only man I want is Guy. I fell hopelessly in love with him when I was eighteen.”

Lace sat down and crossed her long legs, her expression rapt. “Details if you please.”

Annie stared at Lace, debating. The memories of that long ago day were precious to her, and she’d never had anyone to share them with. She hadn’t dared tell any of her female friends, not when they were all actively lusting after Guy themselves. And she could just imagine what would have happened if she’d tried talking to Max or Daniel about it. Her brothers gave new meaning to the term “overprotective.”

She sighed, then opened up to Lace. “Guy had caught me crying in the backyard. It was Mother’s Day, and I was upset, though why I don’t know. I don’t even remember my mother, she died when I was so young. But it seemed so lonely that day. Dad always took off then, during every holiday, really, like he couldn’t bear the memories after losing Mom, but I know Mother’s Day was especially hard on him. And Daniel was studying, Max was probably off getting into trouble somewhere.” She glanced away. “And I just felt so…alone.”

“I understand.”

As always, Lace’s tone was gentle and commiserating. Annie really appreciated having a sister-in-law that she could confide in. It was a unique thing, and very nice. “Guy started out by sitting on the porch swing with me and patting my back in that awkward way men have when they don’t know what to do with a female. It really bothered him whenever I cried, I guess because I didn’t do it much. Being raised with all boys has a way of toughening a girl up.”

Lace made a face. “I know they treated you more like a little brother than a sister.”

“They did their best, especially since Dad was so withdrawn. And for the most part it was fun. I got to do all the things they did, fishing, swimming in the lake, playing baseball. They always included me. Well, except that one time when I caught them playing spin the bottle with a bunch of neighborhood girls. I thought Daniel would box my ears for spying.”

“The hypocrite.”

Annie laughed. “It made them very uneasy if I acted at all feminine. The first time I wore panty hose, or when I got my ears pierced, they harassed me for days. And I remember when I had to ask Max to go to the store for me to buy tampons. He actually said, what for, and when I just glared at him, his ears turned red!”

“Did he go to the store and get them?”

“Oh sure. Max would do anything for me, but he didn’t like it. After that, he made Daniel do all my shopping.” She laughed again. “When Max first noticed I’d matured, he accused me of ‘sprouting breasts’ as if I’d done it on purpose just to nettle him. He went out and bought me a bunch of vests. When I refused to wear them, he got into the habit of walking in front of me, so no one would notice.”

Lace had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. “Max is a rascal.”

Annie shook her head. “As if anyone would notice such an unnoticeable attribute.” She stared down at her modest bustline. Puberty had come and gone a long time ago, so she supposed it was time to give up hope.

Lace made a disgusted sound at Annie’s distraction, then prompted, “So you were in the backyard, crying, and Guy was trying to console you…?”

Just the memory made Annie warm inside. “He patted my shoulder, then hugged me, asking me not to cry. He kissed my cheek, like he’d done a dozen times. I turned toward him, he drew a big shaky breath, and the next thing I knew, he was holding my face and giving me this killer kiss and it was incredible.”

“You mean—”

“Yeah—” Annie nodded enthusiastically “—tongues and all.”

Lace struggled with a smile. “I was going to ask if that was your first kiss, Annie, not the actual particulars of it.”

“Oh.” Annie frowned in thought before answering. “No, it wasn’t my first kiss, but it was definitely my first lust.”

“Ah-ha. Got to you, did it?”

“Boy did it.” The kiss had been a hungry, I-want-you-bad kiss. It had startled her a little at the time because it was the first time she’d felt a man’s tongue, the first time she’d really understood lust, or wanting a man so much. She’d been hugged up to Guy’s muscled chest many times in the past, but that time it was different because he didn’t feel like a friend—he felt like a man, hard and hot and so sexy.

She’d belonged to Guy ever since. She still wanted to curl up and savor the memory whenever Guy failed to see her as a grown woman. For at least that one moment, on that one day, he’d wanted her. Almost as much as she wanted him.

Lace’s look was thoughtful. “What did you do when he kissed you?”

“I’m not really sure. I know I stared at him and I kind of froze. Guy started apologizing, stammering all over himself, backing away as if he thought I might leap at him. Then he suddenly just walked off and he never mentioned it again. Since then, it’s almost like he’s avoided me. Except when he wants to lecture me on something.”

Lace snorted. “He and Daniel are a lot alike.”

“Like brothers.”

“So Guy’s never kissed you other than that one time?”

It was difficult trying to explain the way their relationship had gone over the past few years. Annie was twenty-five now, but Guy treated her almost as if she were still eighteen and off-limits. She understood his reservations when she had been young and inexperienced.

But now? Well, she was still inexperienced, but he couldn’t know that for sure. And at twenty-five, she sure wasn’t too young. But whenever she got too close, he started putting up barriers and she hated it.

“Once,” Annie said, dredging up the wonderful memories, “on New Year’s Eve two years ago, I took him by surprise. We were in the basement looking for more folding chairs because the party got a little bigger than expected. When the clock suddenly chimed and we heard all the shouts, Guy laughed because he knew everyone was kissing. I didn’t give him a chance to think about it. I…well, I sort of jumped him.”

“And?”

Frustrated, Annie muttered, “And he let me kiss him for all of about thirty seconds. Then he stumbled back like I’d slugged him. He accused me of being drunk even though he knew I hadn’t had a drop. He hustled me back up the steps, keeping me at arm’s length—and Guy has incredibly long arms. He spent the rest of the night glued to his date while watching me like I was a molester of innocents.”

“That’s it?”

“No. There’s been a handful of times, but it’s usually only because I’m able to take him by surprise. Like when I turned twenty-one and he gave me my necklace.” Instinctively, her fingers curled over the small, glossy black pearl on the delicate silver chain that she never removed. It felt warm to the touch. “I threw myself against him that time and tried kissing him. He laughed, but only until I caught his mouth. Then he kissed me back.”

“Ahh. Progress.”

“For about three seconds.”

“Let me guess. He ran again?”

“Yep. Like someone had scorched his very sexy backside.”

“Men can be so difficult.”

Since Lace was not only a sex therapist, but married to Annie’s brother Daniel, Annie figured she knew all about difficult men.

“He’s not like that with other women, you know.”

“He’s thirty-five, Annie. Surely you don’t expect him to be a monk.”

“No. I’ve heard plenty of women talk! According to them, he’s a fabulous lover, but I can’t even get a second look out of him.”

Annie picked up the book on top of the stack and flopped back onto the couch. “I’m dying here. All my sexuality is going to atrophy if Guy doesn’t take notice soon.”

“I have a feeling he’ll come around.”

“And I’ll turn into an old dried-up loaf of whole wheat while I’m waiting.” Annie opened the book, surveyed a few pictures, then tilted the book for a better angle. “Good grief!”

“Looks interesting, doesn’t it?”

Actually, it looked more than interesting. It looked downright seductive. And enticing. “Is that even possible?” She turned the book, trying to figure out what body part belonged to which person.

“Trust me, it’s possible.”

“It doesn’t look very comfortable.”

Lace peered over her shoulder, then shrugged. “It’s…creative, I agree.”

“Guy will never go for it.”

Lace burst out laughing. …

End of Excerpt