Oh, if only it were that simple! Have I thought about it? YES! Can I make it happen? Sadly, no. If you can make it happen, sure you can be the star! Can you get Hugh Jackman as the leading man? Please!?
FAQ Category: What Not to Ask Lori
I have a really great idea for a story. If I tell you my idea and you write it, can we split the income?
Believe it or not, I’ve been asked this. More than once!
First of all, I have my own ideas, thank-you-very-much. Second, Lori splits income with no one! If you’ve got a great idea, write it. That’s the hard part, you know.
Now that I finished my first book, how long before I can quit my job?
Maybe tomorrow. Maybe never. Odds are on the never.
Sorry.
There are many, many authors who’ve never made enough publishing 2 or even 3 books a year to quit their “day job”. There are some (very few) who were a huge success and made scads of money on their first book. This isn’t a union. We don’t all get paid the same. Talent is a very subjective thing. Some authors are going to be loved more than others.
Didn’t we go to the same high school/church/laundrymat/gas station way back when? Didn’t you base Story/Character X on me?
No! Okay, we might have gone to school or church together. But my characters are a figment of my oh-so creative imagination and are never, ever based on anyone I know.
Amazingly enough, many, many people ask me this. But come one people, I don’t know your sex life and I don’t WANT to know your sex life. I would never, ever think enough about your sex life to include you in a book. Ha!
Sometimes I steal a name because it’s a good name. Sometimes your name gets used because I forgot it was your name. Sometimes, if you’re a fun reader like Patti and Morgan and Barb, I’ll turn you into hookers in a book (The Secret Life Of Bryan) and we all get a good laugh!
Will you read my story, all 600 uncut pages of it, and help me get it published?
No. Please don’t ask. Don’t even ask me to read your synopsis or your first chapter or even your cover letter.
I strongly believe that voice is the #1 thing that will get you sold. If I read your work and make suggestions, then my voice gets imposed on yours.
Also, I don’t have time. If I could fit 5 more hours in the day, I still wouldn’t want to read it, because when I have time to read, I want to grab a book out of my to-be-read pile and have some major fun. Not critique or edit. I leave that to editors, who know what they’re doing.
I can’t buy your book, and I don’t have an editor who loves me enough to buy a book that she didn’t love. So there’s really no point anyway.
I will wish you tons of luck, though!